I told you so!
It's been a week full of victories like no other. Not only is Fairhope High School reviving the Twirler's program (
The Majorettes are Back) but the Southern states have spiked the football in the end zone of The University of Life with Sunday night's Miss America Pageant.
This means one thing . . . good things are on the horizon for the United States of America! All the stars are aligning and pixie dust is coating the country with peace, love and beauty!
Miss Georgia, Baciliky "Betty" Cantrell, who loves the Andy Griffith Show, can drive a full sized John Deere tractor, and handle a shotgun, was crowned the new Miss America 2016. She has trained with a vocal coach since she was 14 years old and wowed the judges not only with the
best red dress in the entire world, but also with her operatic selection from
Madame Butterfly.
What? She didn't bang plastic cups on the floor like last year's winner from New York? (read about last year's fiasco
HERE).
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In addition to Miss
GEORGIA, other runners up were:
Fourth runner up, Miss
ALABAMA, Meg McGuffin (known to her friends as "Egg McMuffin" - cute).
Third runner up, Miss
LOUISIANA, April Nelson
Second runner up, Miss Colorado, Kelley Johnson (who dressed in baggy scrubs and gave a talk about nursing, which technically, I think is a
skill more than a
talent, but hey . . . who's going to vote against a nurse? They're like teachers. Everyone loves them.)
First runner up, Miss
MISSISSIPPI, Hannah Roberts
Here's a map showing the number of Miss America winners by state, but I'm sure all of you know that one of the Miss Americas representing New York  (Mallory Hagan) wasÂ
actually born and raised in Alabama. You do know that, don't you?
We need a Miss Louisiana to win next year to fill in the entire South with sparkly, smiling, dancing, twirling, bright, swirling, happy young ladies. I just know there's a girl deep in the bayou that fits that description somewhere.
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Okay, now do tell . . . did you watch the pageant? Did your favorite win? Can you drive a John Deere tractor?
(whispering . . .) Is your state still shaded gray? Tsk, tsk, tsk.
