High School Clubs Prevent Zombies
I thought about my high school club after buying some super-soft, spritzy hairspray at the drugstore where the teen cashier acted like a mute zombie. “Hi,” I said. She didn’t even give me a grunt. Finally, she pointed to the screen with a single syllable: “Here.” I took my purchase and offered a “thank you,” which was met with more silence.
On the way home, I thought about how I had learned communication skills by participating in school clubs. If these clubs exist at all now, they are more than likely heavily directed by adults, which defeats the purpose of growing future leaders.The fresh school year brings new shoes, new friends and new opportunities for teenagers to either sink or swim in their tank of hormonal goo. Adult-controlled activities are now the norm, which has resulted in a backward slide in opportunities for teaching basic communication skills. Thanks to social media overload and hobbies that require nothing more than tapping “like,” too many young people can’t manage eye contact, let alone a polite conversation.
Gone are the days when every teenager was expected to talk to adults, answer clearly and relay basic information without mumbling into their shoes. Adults jump in to solve problems, plan events and count the car wash money.
My friends and I learned plenty of things from textbooks, but the most valuable life lessons came from social situations and clubs. Beyond adult-supervised sports, our clubs were student-led, and we were shockingly capable. We ran meetings with a bobbling, baby version of “Robert’s Rules of Order,” planned events from scratch, raised money and learned to get along, or else risked being the subject of cafeteria gossip the next day. Parents didn’t swoop in and teachers didn’t hover. We figured it out.
My friends and I learned plenty of things from textbooks, but the most valuable life lessons came from social situations and clubs. Beyond adult-supervised sports, our clubs were student-led, and we were shockingly capable. We ran meetings with a bobbling, baby version of “Robert’s Rules of Order,” planned events from scratch, raised money and learned to get along, or else risked being the subject of cafeteria gossip the next day. Parents didn’t swoop in and teachers didn’t hover. We figured it out.
We sold doughnuts, organized clean-up days and delivered treats to teachers. We planned parties and fundraisers — sometimes successfully and sometimes not — but we always learned as we went. And the whole time, we were developing skills: public speaking, leadership, problem-solving and, most of all, communication.
Several years after I graduated, the social clubs at my school were banned. After decades of serving the students, the parents became too involved and ruined them.
Opportunities for social development are so micromanaged by adults that teens don’t get the chance to fail, succeed or grow. Yet speaking up about your vision for prom decorations is a rehearsal for presenting ideas in a future boardroom. Designing the winning club T-shirt builds confidence for tomorrow’s marketing executive, and delivering the keynote speech at the senior banquet teaches poise. When Alexa Dawn sells tickets to the Valentine’s dance, she develops the kind of persuasion skills that may one day help her close a business deal — or at least participate in a pleasant exchange at the checkout with the lady buying hairspray.
If we want to stop raising communication-vapid zombies, perhaps it’s time to stop looking over our teens’ shoulders and allow them to handle projects and make decisions without interference from adults.
Because someday, I’d like to buy a can of hairspray from a teenager who can at least say, “That’ll be $16. Thank you.” Yes, I know $16 is outrageous, but it’s not Aqua Net. Some things from high school need to change.
Thank you for reading! This story first appeared in Lagniappe News, Mobile, AL
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I’ll go out on this limb and say “take away the cell phones” and bring back communication skills. Schools need to return to fundamentals (reading, writing, arithmetic) along with teaching communication skills (making eye contact, speaking clearly, being aware of body language, etc.) because they certainly are not learning conversational or communication skills at home.
Robin, I totally agree, and everyone in the house eats in separate rooms! – More on this another time, for sure!
Amen, but unfortunately the towns like Fairhope where there is a real sense of community are fewer and so many parents aren’t aware of what even kids are doing Keep spreading hope and good advice Leslie Anne!
Well, I think even in affluent towns, there’s an element of little or no conversation between people, so I’m not sure what to think. Thanks Jenna – hope you have a wonderful week!
I agree with this lack of conversational ability. I have found that as my grandchildren reached adulthood, communication skills actually improved greatly. I once asked a teen granddaughter “why more teens did not engage into more conversation with adults” (after having a lovely lunch with an elderly friend whose recent college age grandson was super polite, great manners, and contributed with a great conversation on where he was in life)’
She said “Because most adults do not really care or listen to what we have to say”. Reflecting, I had to agree that may also be true and made a point of listening better to that age group in the future.
Oh Savan, I love that angle. When I talk to teenagers I don’t know very well, I try not to ask the same old tired questions like, “How’s school?” or “What are you studying?” It must be difficult to answer the same things over and over. Great point. But I would dearly love to have a hearty, “Thank you for shopping at the hairspray emporium” every now and then.