How to stop the spitting
This story first appeared in Lagniappe News, Mobile, Alabama.
Children and football players, please step back in time with me to my kindergarten classroom, when Little Bradley, better known as “The Spitter,” thought he could launch a slimy missile onto the face of another child.
The Philadelphia Eagles’ Jalen Carter and the University of Florida’s Brendan Bett were recently ejected from games for spitting on opponents and it reminded me of Bradley, who also thought it was powerful to spit in people’s faces.
Bradley was a handful in many ways, and his parents only made it worse by offering excuses. The little boy and I had a quick understanding that I wasn’t his passive mama and when he entered my classroom, he needed to straighten up and fly right.
All went well until the day Bradley spat on another child. I didn’t see it happen and was caught off-guard, so I simply pulled him from playtime. But the second time, I saw it with my own eyes—a full spit rocket, hurled straight at the nose of one of the sweetest children in the room. My blood boiled, but instead of blowing up, I tended to the victim, then calmly took Bradley by the hand and said, “Come with me.” The rest of the class trailed behind, curious, as I led him to our classroom bathroom and left the door ajar just enough for peer pressure to trickle in.
With all the gentleness I could muster, I said, “Bradley, I would never let anyone spit on you because I love you too much. And I can’t let you spit on my other friends either. Another word for spit is saliva, and I think you must have too much saliva in your mouth. Anytime you feel like spitting, you’ll need to come in here and spit into the toilet instead.”
He blinked, confused but relieved I didn’t seem angry. “Go ahead,” I encouraged. “Put your extra spit in the toilet now.”
He froze, wide-eyed. “Spit,” I repeated. His eyes filled with tears as he realized how foolish he looked with his classmates quietly observing. “Get it all out so you’ll never need to spit on anyone again.”
This went on for a while until I was sure he understood that if this ever happened again, he’d be spitting in the toilet for a very long time. “Again.” I instructed a few more times as I stood with one hand on my hip, the other, pointing to the toilet.
Bradley sputtered and slobbered, crying real tears. Inside, I was still furious he had humiliated such a kind classmate, but on the outside, I stayed matter-of-fact, presenting this as standard procedure for eliminating excessive saliva.
When the kid truly had a dry mouth, I knelt beside him and said, “I’m so glad you’ve learned what to do, because if you ever put spit on anyone else, you’ll probably have to stay in here and spit for a very long time.”
Bradley sniffled, gave a weak “uh-huh,” and that was the end of his classroom spitting.
Robert Fulghum’s book Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten is so true. Perhaps we don’t need football penalties and fines as much as we need parents and teachers who nip children’s rudeness and social deviance in the bud when they are young. Well-behaved children grow into nice football players.
You can find another new post here: What I did this Summer.
Leslie Anne, you turned a yuck subject into a sweet story. Wonder where that little mister is now? Why do guys spit…yuck o! And Major League Baseball is the worse! If my mama had had a son who made millions playing baseball and saw him spit, she would have marched out on the field to “have a word”!
Thanks Roxanne. I actually do know where this young man ended up – and that’s another story. He grew up to become a professional Mixed Martial Arts Fighter. I’m pretty sure that no matter how rough the matches were, he never spit on anyone.
I agree totally with your assessment of nipping bad and unacceptable behaviors in the early school years. I teach high school, and the amount of rude and unacceptable behaviors has escalated tremendously in the last few years, as too many students think they are entitled to do whatever they want, whenever they want. Because it has been reinforced at home (or ignored), it is now very much a part of their everyday behavior. People talk about showing kindness to others, but we also need to remember that acceptable behavior and social manners are also part of being kind-not entitlement.
Oh, how I love and agree with everything you said. “Entitled” is the main trouble. – thanks for the comment.
A wise way to handle the Spitter. I wonder where he is today and what he’s doing. I’m sure he’s not forgotten his kindergarten teacher!
Mixed Martial Arts champion – but not a spitter, I’m fairly sure.
You were so wise in your discipline of the spitter! Could we send all those who do not practice civility to you? What has happened, did it all begin in childhood?
Sure! Send them right over – I’ll go hide now! – ha-thanks, Pam!
What a wonderful story you shared and how you remedied the yucky issue in your classroom! I bet you didn’t have any other spitters that year or even future years.
Yeah, those children were probably afraid to spit while brushing their teeth for at least a week! Thanks Robin.
So Genius! I’m sure he was terrified of you after that!
So Genius! I’m sure he was terrified of you after that!