It’s never too late for new friends
You may remember my friend Jule. It’s pronounced “Julie,” but she said her mother thought it would look more interesting without the “i.”
I’m helping plan a 104th birthday party for Jule in a few weeks. Still quick-minded and funny, Jule recently wrote a poem about her assisted living facility giving her canned green beans 18 days in a row. She gathered that statistical information by keeping a tally mark in her notebook for every day they appeared on her plate next to a tough bland pork chop or tough bland baked chicken. I bring her Mexican food and gluten-free pizza. She eats no sugar.
The rehab/nursing facility where Jule lives is depressing and old. The employees steal things from her, and we conspire how to set traps for them, like putting itching powder inside the blouses or along the edges of the costume jewelry she loves to wear. But, other than theft and food, Jule never complains about anything.
Always the lady, Jule has me deliver her supplies of lipstick and White Diamonds bath powder. She has her hair done at the beauty parlor every two weeks. I tell her she doesn’t look a day over 90, and she laughs and says, “I looked okay until 97. It was all downhill from there.”
A friend moved his father into the same rehab center when he needed care after a stroke. Mr. H. is 12 years younger than Jule, and after I met him knew the two neighbors should meet. Their rooms are in the same hall, so Jule and I “called on him.” She rolled in a wheelchair but refused to let me push, instead shuffling her feet, saying it was good exercise. Before we entered Mr. H’s room, she paused at the doorway, brushed a speck of lint from her skirt, and smoothed her hair.
I made the introductions, and although Mr. H was in bed, it was as formal and polite as if we were at the Country Club. They discovered they had lived in the same town in Texas, missing each other by around eight years.
They recalled the same places and discussed the war. Mr. H. was in the Army, and Jule was a Red Cross nurse and later a counselor for Veterans. I sat quietly on the extra bed that was empty due to Mr. H’s roommate having recently moved into the room with his new wife. Jule attended the wedding held in the facility’s chapel and told me, “The bride wore a flower in her hair, the groom wore oxygen.”
The conversation flowed, and I sat back and took it all in. The two seniors have lived interesting lives but spend days with people who can’t relate or communicate effectively. Always the encourager, Jule asked Mr. H about his rehab schedule and suggested he could also be working on his hand and arm strength.
It was a gentle, sweet moment as a new friendship formed, and I had a front-row seat.
A little over 10 minutes later, it was time to go because proper behavior says never overstay your welcome. Their old-fashioned formality was rich and full in an otherwise spartan environment.
It’s never too late for new friends.
“Jule” by J.D. Crowe
Click HERE to read, “When a Southern Lady Walks Into the Room,” a story about Jule Moon, and the last chapter from my book, “Exploding Hushpuppies.”
Just when I think I have read your best post, I find another. This was so perfect and is a lesson for us all. Jule is one of a kind and such a role model as are you!
Thanks Savan. It was really heartwarming watching the two in the first stages of friendship.
Just when I think I have read your best post, I find another. This was so perfect and is a lesson for us all. Jule is one of a kind and such a role model as are you!
Thanks Savan. It was really heartwarming watching the two in the first stages of friendship.
Gosh, is this what we have to look forward to? This affluent town is pathetic when it comes to affordable places for Seniors, and by the conditions in the ones that are here, not fit for them at all. Green beans from a can🙄 call that Assisted Living! Have you seen what the New Senior housing is priced? I could go on and on experiencing a situation for my special needs sister, you are a true friend , Ms. Jule is fortunate to have such a caring friend.
Well, I didn’t name the place where Jule lives, but I felt it was important to show the downside of these facilities. From what I hear, it’s like this in most places we used to call “nursing homes.” Staffing is a huge part of the problem. Jule knows those who care for her that are truly kind and like their job vs. those who only show up for the paycheck. The two or three huge new places being built in our area are for active seniors and yes, they are pricey! My favorite is going to be the one being constructed next to the football stadium. When the Fairhope High School Pirate ship shoots off the cannon at games, all sorts of heart monitors will go off! Yea! Green beans for everyone!
Jule is lucky to have you stop by and see her. So many don’t. Mother had to go to a rehab facility around here about 5 years ago. I am praying I can always keep up with her care. Miss Jule has lived a long life.
It breaks my heart when others don’t get visitors. I’m not Jule’s only friend to visit. She’s such a joy, everyone loves to see her.
Gosh, is this what we have to look forward to? This affluent town is pathetic when it comes to affordable places for Seniors, and by the conditions in the ones that are here, not fit for them at all. Green beans from a can🙄 call that Assisted Living! Have you seen what the New Senior housing is priced? I could go on and on experiencing a situation for my special needs sister, you are a true friend , Ms. Jule is fortunate to have such a caring friend.
Well, I didn’t name the place where Jule lives, but I felt it was important to show the downside of these facilities. From what I hear, it’s like this in most places we used to call “nursing homes.” Staffing is a huge part of the problem. Jule knows those who care for her that are truly kind and like their job vs. those who only show up for the paycheck. The two or three huge new places being built in our area are for active seniors and yes, they are pricey! My favorite is going to be the one being constructed next to the football stadium. When the Fairhope High School Pirate ship shoots off the cannon at games, all sorts of heart monitors will go off! Yea! Green beans for everyone!
Jule is lucky to have you stop by and see her. So many don’t. Mother had to go to a rehab facility around here about 5 years ago. I am praying I can always keep up with her care. Miss Jule has lived a long life.
It breaks my heart when others don’t get visitors. I’m not Jule’s only friend to visit. She’s such a joy, everyone loves to see her.
You are a blessing to so many people. God bless you
Thanks Henry, it may look that way, but honestly, to visit with people like this is a joy for me. I’m the one who is blessed!
You are a blessing to so many people. God bless you
Thanks Henry, it may look that way, but honestly, to visit with people like this is a joy for me. I’m the one who is blessed!
What a sweet story and an amazing woman. I know she appreciates and values your special friendship…valuing each and every person is something we all need to remember.
Thanks Jenna. All of my friends have enriched my life, but Jule is truly special.
What a sweet story and an amazing woman. I know she appreciates and values your special friendship…valuing each and every person is something we all need to remember.
Thanks Jenna. All of my friends have enriched my life, but Jule is truly special.