It’s obvious what some of you received for Christmas.
The commercial said, “Go ahead and wear them to the grocery store. No one will know.”
Umm . . . we know.
It’s obvious you are wearing slippers in public. We’re on to you. We don’t think you’re cute. We think you’ve escaped from a hospital of some sort.
“Grandpa’s wandered off again. Call the dogs. He can’t be far; he’s only wearing slippers.”
Foreign countries will conquer America, not by force, but by capturing us as we frantically shuffle away in our slippers.
We used to call them “house shoes,” because we only wore them in the house. It’s kind of like flip-flops used to be called “shower shoes” because no one in their right mind would ever wear them any other place, right?
Now, I’ll pause to make a statement to calm all who are overly sensitive and can’t hear news like this without getting your bloomers in a bunch.
Of course, there are terribly sick people who can’t even walk who need to wear slippers due to health problems, but they probably don’t run out to the Jiffy Mart for Nabs and Cokes or hang out in the nightclubs. I’m talking about able-bodied healthy people — although every TV commercial tells us we’re all sick, crazy, dizzy and irregular, so with that rationalization, perhaps we should all be wearing slippers, straight-jackets and holding ice-packs to our heads.
Average old foot pain doesn’t qualify you to wear slippers 24 hours a day. My grandmother had terrible arthritis in both feet but would have rather crawled into town on a gravel road than wear slippers to garden club, a movie or the sewing guild. She was raised in the rural South, but was lovely, classy and dignified.
Compared to today’s grandmothers, whose grandchildren will fondly recall, “Mawmaw always had potato chip crumbs in her hair and smelled like the cat. Her slippers were filthy because she wore them up to Gassy AL’s to fill her tank.”
If you’re going to run a quick errand wearing your slippers, at least have the decency to act embarrassed when spotted by the Chairwoman of the Donkey Trot Cotillion. “Would you look at this! I don't know how this happened! What is my name? Where am I again?”
Where is our country’s dignity? Where are the daddies who snatch ball caps off our heads when we walk through the house? Where are the mothers who teach us to sew buttons on shirts?
We manage to show respect when visiting high ranking government officials or religious leaders, yet here’s something important to remember; you are just as prized as those officials.
You are precious and loved and important to the God who created you. We are valuable to Him and should dress the part.
There’s no need for fancy fashions. A clean shirt and britches will do the job. And for all that is still decent and good in our country . . . leave the slippers at home.
Carol Burnett as Stella Toddler is probably why I think slippers are so funny. Click to watch.