The other side of “Our Friend”

February 9, 2021


This is for all the locals in Fairhope, who knew Nicole Teague and are disappointed in the movie, “Our Friend.” 

Filmed in Fairhope and telling the heartbreaking story of how a good friend came to help Nicole and her family when she was diagnosed with and subsequently passed away from type IIIc ovarian cancer, the film was realeased last week to mixed reviews. It seems those who personally knew Nicole are shocked. 

The screenplay is based on the Esquire Magazine article, “Our Friend” written by Nicole’s husband, Matthew Teague. 

Many locals are refusing to watch the film because they’ve heard disturbing reviews of how Nicole was portrayed. Those who have watched the movie, staring Dakota Johnson as Nicole, have been dismayed by the contrast in character of the on-screen Nicole and the real woman we knew. 

Nicole at the Graffiti Bridge in Pensacola, FL

Nicole and I were members of a year-long Bible study small group where we shared joys, troubles and prayer. The group met a few years before her cancer diagnosis, and her main prayer request I remember most from those days was for her husband Matt’s safety as he traveled with his foreign correspondent’s job with The New York Times.

When Nicole’s cancer was discovered, the perky mom who worked part time in a local jewelry store set out to live her remaining life to the fullest and inspired the entire town with her optimism, energy and total faith that she would soon be in heaven with Jesus. Her calmness was mesmerizing, and we all loved her more than ever before. 

After chemotherapy had taken her curly dark hair, Nicole came into the antique shop where I was working. At first, I didn’t even notice her hair was missing because all we could ever focus on was her beaming smile. After she browsed through the store, I helped her select a tiny porcelain tea set for her daughter . . . to be given to her “later.” I could barely hold back my tears, and as Nicole walked out the door into the cold afternoon, frail and alone, I stood at the window and sobbed. 

I don’t know Matthew Teague well, and to be honest, I wasn’t really one of Nicole’s closest friends, but to be in a Bible study and prayer group with someone sews a unique closeness of spirit. 

Nicole allowed me to interview her for a newspaper story about her journey where I asked if she thought Matt would write about their experience. She responded, “Yes, but probably not for a long time.” 

That’s why I was somewhat surprised when it seemed Matt penned a story soon after her passing. The Esquire story was filled with rough medical details that ripped at my heart, but was still kind to the memory of his wife. Love was woven throughout the words of anguish. 

It should be noted that Brad Ingelsby wrote the screenplay to the film, not Matt. The screenplay followed most of Matt’s article, but Ingelsby made the decision to stray from the original story every now and then, insert his own dialogue, as well as the confusing time jumps. 

Matthew Teague had every right to write what he did. It was his story, and no one else could see through his eyes. His focus was on his friend Dane, and that’s his choice to make. Yet, we all hoped to see a glimmer of the Christ-centered, happy young woman we all remember. What we got instead, was a faint shadow of the real-life woman.

We stared wide-eyed at the screen and watched a cursing, cheating, self-centered, silly woman who seemed to care only for her daughters. Was Nicole ever like that? Maybe it was all fiction thrown in to somehow jazz up the story — or maybe it was true, but to allow only one side to be shown, one that we as her friends had never seen, was troubling. 

To characterize Nicole without addressing her faith is like making a film about Julia Child without mentioning she knew how to cook. 

It seemed like Nicole’s dirty laundry was being aired after she was no longer here to defend herself and knowing her children will someday see this portrayal of their mother was hard to take. The hint of love in the original article was seemingly replaced with revenge. 

Christians make mistakes, but Nicole clearly knew she was forgiven. Her final real-life focus was on her heavenly home where she knew without a doubt she was going. I think as friends and acquaintances of hers, we expected and longed to see that part of her life on the screen.

Another disappointing hole in the story was the omission of the powerful support from the members of First Baptist Church of Fairhope. Organizing an army of people, some not even members of their church, they provided needed help by providing the young family with hundreds of meals. They tackled house cleaning, babysitting, laundry duties and grocery deliveries. The members of this church flooded the hospital parking lot with a candlelight vigil and showed God’s love to a broken-hearted family in their time of need, but were for the most part, missing from the big screen. 

It’s no surprise that Jesus and His church don’t sell in Hollywood, which is a shame, but yet I still affirm its Matt’s story to tell. I love and value freedom of speech even if I don’t like the speech. Matt told his version, but it shouldn’t cloud the story that hundreds of others have of a joyful, loving young mother. It’s the story of a believing Christian and the story of . . . our friend. 

Thank you for all of your wonderful comments. They were accidentally “left behind” when I was updating to a new blog theme. You can always go to my Leslie Anne Tarabella Author Facebook page to see and leave comments as well.

  • lifelonglori says:

    Everyone has a story to tell. The movie, “Our Friend” was based on Matt and Nicole’s friend Dane. The title indicates that the focus was on one friend, rather than many. For instance, if they wanted to make a movie including the faith community, it would have been called, “Our Friends” instead. I get that you have stories about Nicole too. So tell them. It would make for a richer appreciation of the woman. Let the story shared in the movie be a part of the collection, not a reason for revenge and gossip. Nicole is worth more than that.

    • Leslie Anne Tarabella says:

      Hi Lifelonglori. Although you are commenting on a story that was written 2 years ago, I still welcome your feedback. You must have missed the part where I said Matt was free to tell his side of the story, and I take great exception with your definition of “revenge” and “gossip.” Reviewing the movie the way I wanted to is my opinion, just as Matt’s opinion is his. The “Friend” was Dane, but the character of Nicole was also supposed to be based on a real life – true story person, and this movie version was definitely not the person the entire town knew. But once again, I”m sorry you missed that I still insisted that this was Matt’s story to tell. Thanks for taking time to read and comment.

  • Kate Emerson says:

    Hey Leslie Anne. I read Matt’s article years ago. I was very touched by it. I then found more and i found words Nicole had written. I immediately thought it odd that obviously her whole life was defined by her faith but there was barely a mention of that in the article outside the middle-aged Baptist women who had to be stopped from her invading her hospital room. I was pretty gob stopped. So the film came out and no mention of her faith and then a big mention of an affair that was never mentioned in the original article. I was so shocked by this and yes, i thought-what do her parents think? What will her daughters think? I am on Twitter so i did ask Matt why her faith was never mentioned; he did reply politely, saying that there wasn’t room for everything. I never responded because i could only have said-her faith was everything to her and there was obviously time to mention the affair. Anyway, i am still angry about it and thank you so much for penning this piece. The truth matters.

    • Leslie Anne Tarabella says:

      Thanks Kate. The world of film and television is an interesting place, but I also think it could be used for making this world a better place.

    • My beloved husband went to be with Jesus on October 4, 2021 after a long and courageous battle with cancer. His faith was everything to him and is everything to me. Our church has stood by us and our Pastor’s wife even drove out of her way to get his last medication and deliver it within an hour of his passing. I wrote and read his 18 page eulogy to glorify God, witness to others and honor my beloved. I was drawn to the movie Our Friend for obvious reasons, and finished it last night. Intrigued, I decided to look up the Esquire article tonight, and afterward came across a video Nicole made that is online in which she sang the song “Blessings” from her hospital bed. I was astounded that the movie made no mention of her faith and genuine love for Jesus. The blessing is that if I found it, hopefully others will and that is how she will be remembered. That short video touched me deeply and serves as a beautiful witness to the assurance we as Christ Followers have when we leave our bodies on this earth plane.

      • Leslie Anne Tarabella says:

        Tracey, I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. What an agonizing journey for you both. Isn’t a church family the best thing in both trials and in times of celebration? The video of Nicole singing in the hospital is truly who she was. I can’t hear that song now without thinking of that night at our local hospital. So glad you found all of this information on a truly wonderful woman. I have a feeling you’ll also be a blessing to others who are experiencing this path in life. May God bless you in your continued healing.

        • Craig Noteboom says:

          I’m late to this thread. Understand the disappointment in the movie. I hope folks also understand that Matt was writing on his experience. I would hope his article can prove understanding of the strength and courage that it takes to be a care giver. Much love to you all

          • Leslie Anne Tarabella says:

            Never too late to chime in Craig. Being a caregiver is a life changing experience, and can alter someone’s perspective. Whatever the reason, I still believe it was Matt’s story to tell, yet Nicole’s friends also have their story to share as well. Thanks for the comment.

  • says:

    God always comes through even when people try to block HIM

    • Leslie Anne Tarabella says:

      So true. We know the outcome. Thanks so much!

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