Where are my pickle forks?

Allow me to reassure all mothers of young children that you aren’t going crazy. There isn’t a ghostly haint pilfering your silverware. The disappearing Oneida isn’t being sucked into a dark vortex for use at alien dinner parties.  The vanishing utensil phenomenon is real, yet the cause is hard to believe. As a seasoned mother…

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Now is the time for all Southern ladies . . .

Now is the time for all good Southern ladies to come to the aid of their country. The stay-at-home slouch-fest is almost over, and we’ve got the needed skills to return America to proper civilized society.  We were taught that during trials, we should, “slap on some lipstick, stand up straight, and for crying out…

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The two-bite rule

“Hey! He didn’t leave any broccoli for me!” “You already had lots of it, now give me some!”  My two boys were the only children I knew who would sit at the dinner table and fight over steamed broccoli. While they had one friend who would only eat macaroni and cheese and another who refused…

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Time to ditch the pajama pants

Americans were saddened while viewing the funeral of President George H. W. Bush, but I have to admit, I felt joy when I realized no one showed up in yoga pants and a T-shirt.  Dignity, proper behavior and class were on display and America once again looked like a country of real grown-ups.  Finally, political differences…

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Southern manners serve a larger purpose

Yes ma’am, there actually are rational, common-sense reasons we teach our children manners here in the South. It has nothing to do with tradition and everything to do with making society a more civilized place. And before you think I equate “civilized” with “moonlight and magnolias,” hold your horses —  please and thank you. You…

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Who’s the boss on Thanksgiving?

As Cousin Rosie Belle from Robertsdale was finalizing her Thanksgiving menu, she received a call from her husband’s 3rd cousin in Prattville who informed her that little Brooklyn-Savannah wouldn’t be eating the turkey or dressing, or for that matter, any pumpkin pie at this year’s family get-together. “Oh no!” exclaimed Rosie Belle, “Does she have…

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Hats off at the table

This story can be found in the book, The Majorettes are Back in Town Bless her heart, my long time friend, Fancy Faye is out there in the dating world again. The stunning beauty is smart and successful, but totally out of luck when it comes to love. She’s rather picky, which can be a…

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