To blink or not to blink

Readers often suggest topics for my columns, and by far, the number one thing everyone wants to read is a story on why (insert one or the other) Northerners / Southerners don’t use their turn signals. I’ve avoided the issue like a lying, crying politician, because it’s a scorching hot topic in my own house. …

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Don’t give me a bad hushpuppy

Go ahead and talk ugly about my hairdo, say my pearls are plastic, but whatever you do, don’t ever give me a hard-as-a-rock, pre-cooked and flash frozen hushpuppy.  They’re easy to spot and wildly rampant these days, even in the best restaurants. Looking like little brown jawbreakers from the gumball machine, and tasting about as…

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Good Gravy

It was difficult to understand him, but through our tried and true method of hand signals, pantomime, clicking sounds and eye blinks, I finally understood that my northern born husband was trying to tell me his New Jersey Great-Grandmother Donatoni made something she called gravy, but it was actually spaghetti sauce. Now, doesn’t that beat…

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Boy Scouts are for boys

This story origianlly appeared in Advance Publication newspapers in 2017. The Boy Scouts of America are still pushing to add girls to their ranks.  If we follow the money, the legal problems of BSA have drained them of resources, and they are eyeing the budget of Girl Scouts. Combining forces seems like a woke move,…

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A little evil eye in restaurants can work wonders

A restaurant in North Carolina recently banned children under the age of five. They were forced to make the decision after parents refused to lower the volume of their son’s ipad game even though surrounding diners complained it was intrusive. Both supporters and detractors have jumped in to comment, but I think my vote would…

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The joy of cooking with a church cookbook

Laura Jean was asked to chair the new cookbook committee for her church in Prattville, and she’s beyond thrilled. She took the words out of my mouth when she said, “I thought with the availability of recipes on the internet these days, we’d never see another church cookbook again.” Everyone in the South knows the…

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You dropped the bomb on me, baby

My 17-year-old son Joseph, had cleaned the kitchen, taken out the trash and was finally sprawled across the furniture in the family room, arms and legs going every-which-way, while he played on his phone. My husband was out of town, and I busied myself here and there with all the mom-things. The TV was on,…

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Are Southern women prettier?

You’ve heard it before, but are afraid to say it aloud for fear of sounding boastful. Southern women are prettier than others. But wait just a cotton pickin’ minute. Is it true? Are we really prettier? I’ll let you in on a little secret. We’re not. Everyone just has that illusion because the truth is,…

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The worst Valentine’s Day gift ever

  *A version of this story is included in my book, The Majorettes are Back in Town.   This year, my husband and I celebrated Valentine’s Day like a boring mom and dad, instead of dreamy eyed lovers. Earlier in the day, our son had his wisdom teeth extracted, so we spent the evening dishing…

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