Last week? Oh, a little heart surgery. How ’bout you?

I planned to go hear fellow columnist Frances Coleman speak at the Fairhope Museum of History last Tuesday, but by 2pm, I had started to feel . . . what was it? Not really sick. Not really nauseous. But seriously terrible. Sick in a way I’d never felt before. A morning full of frustrating election talk on TV and the internet, plus stressful emails had me completely agitated, and my heart had started racing (later clocked at 172 beats per minute). Sharp pain worse than any indigestion I’d ever had was the other strange symptom, as well as being freezing cold.

I was going to ride it out (just your average mom), but when my husband came home at the end of the day, he insisted I call the doctor, who said to get to the ER, so off we went.

When I signed in, my lip was quivering and I was teary eyed. “I’m sorry, I just can’t believe I have to go to the ER,” I told the “kids” who were acting like real nurses and security guards. Everyone was so young, and I suddenly felt so old. I was led to the admitting nurse, who, once I dried my eyes, realized was the dear mother of  my sweet friend Anna! Instant comfort and calming came from just seeing her there.

Later that night, I was admitted to the hospital and vindicated with the distinction of being the youngest patient on the cardiac floor. Whoop-freakin’-eee. I’m the youngest of the invalids!

Thomas Hospital is a wonderful facility and we are blessed to have such a great medical resource in our small community.

However . . . I had the bed from hell with a LOUD motorized air pump that inflated different spots on and off all-the-night-and-day-long. In the morning, I was so sleep deprived and rattled from remaining in AFib all night, I told the nurse if I had a gun, I’d shoot the bed, which in Alabama isn’t considered a terrorist threat, only a plan of action. Ultimately, my straight-talkin’ husband had a “meeting” with the staff, and a new bed was brought in. Later, we discovered the first bed wasn’t just irritating, it was also malfunctioning, so it was DOUBLY irritating. The bed is designed to promote circulation, which they said I didn’t need, but if you turned the motor off, the entire mattress deflated! Really now, how is anyone supposed to sleep with that motor popping on and off every 35-48 seconds? (I counted).

All the wires and tubes pumped me with medications that made me woozy, and they wouldn’t let me have coffee (headache)! And for some reason, all my awesome friends felt like they needed to come see me. What? I feel like c#@p and look like a haint, and you want to come stare at me? Really, I just want to sleep! “Oh, but I NEED to come SEE you!” they cried. I adore my friends, but when the nurses saw there was going to be a crowd of rowdy middle aged young ‘uns possibly disturbing the older folks on the floor, and after I was a bit . . . um, sick, they finally put up the “no visitors” sign and that was the end of that fun. But it’s the thought that counts, so thanks friends!

I absolutely loved my nurses who were outstanding, and the room was beautiful and spotless clean, which goes a long way in my book. I’ve never stayed in a hospital over two days, and in those instances, was given a cute baby to take home. This time, no prizes. (Thank you, God).

On Thursday afternoon, I had a heart ablation for Atrial Flutter, and I’ll take medication for Atrial Fibrillation. If you are interested, click HERE to read the differences between the two.

I was able to return home about four hours after the procedure and have taken it easy since then, and even went to church on Sunday, although I needed to go home and take a nap — which is nothing new —hahaha! Just kidding!  (Just a test to see if my pastor’s reading!).

I can already tell I feel better, and if you had seen me last Monday, and again this Monday, you wouldn’t know anything exciting had happened. Modern medicine is amazing, and since strokes and aneurysms run on the Scottish side of my family, I’m forever grateful I was able to receive this surgery so quickly and early in life.

I truly know God was orchestrating this event to cause this to happen now instead of waiting. If I had tried to schedule this, I would have had to wait months, since there’s only one Cardiac Electrophysiologist in our entire county (Dr. Robichaux — and he’s wonderful). My friends and family have been so kind and helpful and I appreciate them all more than they will ever know. I’ll just have to go hear Frances speak another time.

And now, you know what I’m going to say . . . isn’t life an amazing adventure?