I Need A Southern Siri

September 24, 2012

17  comments

I need a Southern Siri, Leslie Anne Tarabella
Hometown favorite, Tim Cook, CEO Apple, Inc.

This weekend, our very own Alabama hero, Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, was kind enough to box up a new iPhone 5 and ship it to me. Me and bazillion other people around the world.  Tim was a very busy man.

The new leader of Apple grew up right down the road in Robertsdale, Alabama and graduated from Auburn University.

With these strong ties to the heart of Dixie, I have two questions for Mr. Cook.

1. Why can’t we get an Apple store around here?  Come on, Tim! Show a little hometown love and set us up with one of your shiny, oh-so-hip and sleek stores.  Birmingham is too far to drive for my iPad doo-hicky thingamajigs.
2.  Why doesn’t Siri (voice recognition) understand a southern accent?  For that matter, why doesn’t she HAVE a southern accent?
I need a Southern Siri.

Siri is described as a “personal assistant” who can locate movie information, provide maps, text, call and play music all through voice recognition – totally hands free.

My family and friends have been playing with Siri all weekend and laughing our rear- ends off with how she interprets things we say.  In all honesty, she’s pretty dang close on most exchanges.  I asked her, “Where can I find some good grits?” Siri quickly replied that she had found a list of ten local restaurants close to me that served grits. That’s a whole heap of grits within a mile or so, and I don’t even think Waffle House was included. No Waffle House? Now that’s just wrong.

Quick, Siri! What’s the best recipe for hushpuppies?

Siri doesn’t know any Jerry Clower jokes, and when we asked Siri how to cook boiled peanuts, she kept thinking we wanted to go BOWL something. (She may as well be my northern Mother-in-law) She also had no answer for how to make sweet tea, and although she offered to look it up, she never got back to me.

Siri also does not like to discuss Jesus and doesn’t know most standard hymns. And remember to say “press” the buttons, not “mash.” Siri hates that.

When I asked Siri to find the lyrics or music to the University of Alabama fight song, Karen Carpenter started singing, “I’ll say good-bye to love, there is no tomorrow for this heart of mine . . .”  Huh????  She didn’t even know Auburn’s “War Eagle”, from Tim Cook’s alma mater! Perhaps we were just having a communication issue.

Regional iPhones would be a great invention. Instead of directions in miles, Siri could tell us to go “down yonder a piece and turn left where Fred’s Tire store used to be.”

We finally thought we would show Miss Siri some southern kindness, so we said . . .

I need a Southern Siri, Leslie Anne Tarabella

I swannee, it’s true. My Mother- in -law is Siri.

I’m going to put her to work and see if she can find a Gulf Coast location for a new Apple Store.

 

  • I’m SO glad it’s not just me!!! I was SO excited to get my 4S last year…Siri was brand new & exciting and wonderful & I just dreamed of all the great things she could do for me, and how much time she would save me, and the girlfriend talks we could have (ok maybe not…). And about halfway through Christmas Day, I just said forget it. She can’t understand a THANG I am tryin’ to say! Now she is just a toy for my chil’en who train her how to call me Santa Claus forever & such silliness (oddly, she understands my 13 y/o son perfectly…). I’ll be first in line when that Southern version hits the shelves….

  • Just bought my first iPhone, got the 5. Started playing with Siri today and I have decided that she’s got attitude. Found this while looking online for ways to change her voice. Haven’t stopped laughing for an hours. I’m from Alabama, living in Georgia. Thanks for the laughs!

  • fun post! we are in the dark ages here and still have fun with the 20 questions toy from Five below…
    I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.
    have fun with your new “toy”!

  • I have the iPhone 4S and I gave up on Siri a long time ago. I cannot get her to understand anything except maybe a Dr.’s appointment. I understand Scottish people have the same issue. As do some New Yorkers.

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