Florida State vs. Auburn Prediction

January 5, 2014


You know Southerners love their college football, and it’s becoming a habit to have a Southern team play in the BCS Championship Game. This year, there are two great Southern teams vying for the title.

Florida State University and Auburn University are old friends and have met many times before. Both are located about four hours from Fairhope, and as someone who was born in and lives in Alabama, but graduated from FSU, (GASP! WHAT? You didn’t know that???)  I almost feel bad about wanting to beat Auburn. I have many good friends who are Auburn graduates and as far as football fans go, they are fairly friendly and good natured. Several have even invited me to watch the game with them. Ummm . . . no thank you.

Auburn is on a lucky streak this year, and I’m not sure I want to be in a room full of Tiger fans if things turn against my Seminoles.

I’m not the only Seminole with a Fairhope connection.
FSU’s talented Defensive Back Nate Andrews started as a proud Fairhope Pirate.

As far as football fans go, believe me, there are several other teams I would be much more excited about laying a whoopin’ on than Auburn. I won’t name them here, but see me after class and I’ll whisper  their names in your ear.

My new Alabama/FSU shirt.

It’s also a shame fans in the Southeast have to drag ourselves across the country to Pasadena, California to settle this. It seems like we could all meet about half way at Dothan High School and get it over with.  I would even bring deviled eggs and cheese straws to the tailgate.

But I guess we have to do what we have to do.

So, bring it on.

Trying to figure out the point spread, I came up with a scientifically based formula and determined, Florida State vs. Auburn . . .
FSU will be victorious.

Here’s how the results were calculated. First, I compared mascots and symbols.

Auburn has Aubie. Grrrrr.
Umm, sorry. You don’t get points for “cute” in football.
And FSU has . . .
Endorsed by the Seminole Tribe of Florida, Chief Osceola rides to mid field, and plants his flaming spear in the ground. This ceremony has been named the best all-time pre-game show by ESPN and will send shivers down your spine.
And a little know fact? The current Chief Osceola (and our quarterback) are both from Alabama!
Touchdown Florida State!

Then, I passed the ball to the alumni. . .

Auburn University has one of my favorite locals as a graduate . . .

Tim Cook, CEO of Apple.
Pretty impressive, and I love all things Apple, but so far, Tim has yet to help me with a Southern Siri, so no point.

Auburn also claims one of my favorite columnists . . .

I never miss her weekly column for King Features Syndicate.
Interestingly, she and I both had dogs named Mabel, but both dogs died, so no point.

But hang on, because the ball changed possession, and two of my favorite FSU graduates took their turn.  I’m sure you’ll agree, their contributions to the world are worthy of big points.

Sara Blakely
Founder and Inventor of Spanx and the youngest female self-made BILLIONAIRE!
Ladies from all schools, even Auburn . . .  you know you love this Seminole!
Every time you squish your hiney into Spanx, you should whistle the FSU fight song and send the FSU College of Business a little love note.

Another Seminole touchdown!

And the final nail in the coffin for Auburn, the ultimate reason Florida State University will dominate the BCS Championship game and everything else in the world . . .

Country music’s new darling and dream dude.
And by the way, all the guys at FSU look like this.
(At least the ones who hung around me did.)
Touchdown, touchdown, field goal, and touchdown, 
plus one of these for fun . . .
and my calculations say in the 2013 BCS Championship game, Florida State University will win it all!
Best wishes to my Auburn friends, and Go Seminoles!
What is your prediction?
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