24 Southern Christmas Sayings

December 18, 2012


Here are the Southern Christmas sayings I’ve heard around town lately.  You know who you are . . .

1. I had my Christmas stockings, tree skirt, the dog’s sweater and my apron all monogramed to match this year! They are PRECIOUS!

2. Anna Jean has gone and clipped every last magnolia leaf off the trees in our yard AND the neighbor’s!

3. Where is Granddaddy’s old Mardi Gras vest?  It’ll be perfect for your Wise Man costume.

4. If you don’t shape up, Santa’s going to bring you switches – or Southern Mississippi football tickets!

5. Aaaggghhh!!!  Who used up all the danged hot glue sticks?

6. I’m fixin to pick up some Captain Morgan’s for Nana’s fruitcakes.  You know she can’t do it herself on account of  being Baptist and all.

7. I plum forgot to remember we need more Velveeta.  How am I supposed to make dip now?

8. Aunt Dora Rae’s on the phone.  She wants to know what kind of Cokes you want her to bring to the party.

9. Go out back and help your Daddy load Old Jake on the trailer to carry him over to the Live Nativity.

10. First, I’ll pick up a bunch of pinecones, then I’ll spray paint them all Winter White, then I’ll make them into a big ol’ wreath and hang on the green door.  It will be precious! Oh yeah,  I’ll stick a big bow on it too!  . . . Did you hear a word I said?

11. You boys make yourselves useful and go shoot me down some mistletoe!

12. I’m wearing my new sweater dress to the party, so I hope they have the AC cranked, or I’ll just melt!

13. Where is the Santa hair bow I bought you? – Not the green one or the one with jingle bells or the one with snowflakes or the one  . . .

14. I can’t believe I’m already out of glitter!

15. Make sure you’ve got your Lottie Moon envelope.

16. I’m fixin to make some cheese straws.

17. Darlin’, can I borrow your Grandmother’s punch bowl for the egg nog?  I’m going to put the sherbet punch in mine.

18. Just go get some Walmart gift cards and be done with it.

19. Mama, what’s snow?

20. I’m glad they finally sang the Hallelujah chorus.  I needed to stretch my legs.

21. Buddy’s making me a new reindeer for the front yard out of the plywood that blew off the shed during the hurricane.

22. I have Lenox Holiday, but my sister has the Spode Christmas Tree.  I suwannee, it’s like we came from different parents!

*23. Christmas Eve gift!!!!

And last, but not least . . .

24. When in doubt, spray paint it, fry it, or stick a bow on it!

Merry Christmas, Y’all!

* I think this is a North Alabama thing.  Let me know if you play this “gotcha” game.

  • My favorite is #6 but the most familiar was #8. It goes like this:
    A: I’m going to the machine. Do you want a Coke?
    B: Yes, please.
    A: What kind of Coke do you want?
    B: Diet Mountain Dew.

    Gotta love it!

  • This is wonderful! I swear, it’s like you have a hidden camera in my house! Oh, and I live in East Central, Alabama and we do “Christmas Eve Gifts” every year!

  • We just had supper at my friends house on Lenox Holiday china. I used to be a Baptist and am familiar with the Lottie Moon offering and other sayings you had me laughing about. Now we go to a huge non- demonational rock-n-roll church. My granddaddy is likely rolling over in his grave.

  • We took “Christmas Eve gift” quite seriously, expecting at least a piece of candy. We would allow the children to call long distance if needed to get the first word in. Of course the Grandparents loved it and went along with the fun
    Yes, I grew up in North Alabama.
    Love your list!

  • Just found you…and I love your post. I, too, am from North Alabama..and yes, my family played Christmas Eve Gift all my growing up days. We still do to some extent and I’m 78 years old. My grown kids love it.

  • Here’s one to add to the list:
    “When are Mama ‘nem comin’ over?”
    Translation: When are Mama and them (being everyone else) coming over?

    I am from North Alabama and never heard of the Christmas Eve Gift game/idea. We open gifts on Christmas Eve at my parents when we are there, but if we are at my husband’s family’s house, we have to wait until Christmas Day. When I was growing up, we opened wrapped presents on Christmas Eve and got “Santa” gifts on Christmas morning.

    Great list! It brings back some memories and validates current practices! 🙂

  • {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}