Mothers, just say ‘no’ to the swimsuit!

March 2, 2016


Swimsuit season starts early in the South. By the second week of February, my Mother would drag me to Gayfers to ensure I had first choice of the sturdiest of all the Jantzen suits. She knew if we waited too late, the selection would be picked-over and I’d have to settle for a flimsy suit that wouldn’t hold up to the waves and would make boys stare at me, and what teenage girl wants that, right?


Begrudgingly, I’d try on fourteen different suits until one passed the “bend-over” test. Once from the front, and once from the back. If nothing poked, plopped or peeked out, then we were good to go, and since I had very little that would actually spill out, it didn’t take long for me to be given the official maternal stamp of approval.


After I was old enough to drive and had spending money of my own, I went to the mall and came home with the first swimsuit I chose without having to endure Mom’s rigorous “bend-over” testing standards. I’ll just tell you the God’s honest truth right now, and Mama will agree – that particular swimsuit purchase resulted in one of the worst Mother-daughter brawls known to mankind.


Saying “no” to my swimsuit choice was a hard thing for my Mom to do, because she knew the wrath of teenage hormones that would be unleashed on her would be slightly worse than using a bee hive as a piñata.


But still . . . she said “no.”


In the years since, it has become apparent that Mothers (and Fathers too), have stopped saying “no” to their daughter’s swimming attire. My husband and I picked our son up from a pool party and were shocked to see

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